NOT meant to be...

I'm not a cook.

Seriously.

I'm not a baker.

I don't enjoy being in the kitchen one bit.

Things happen to me there that would happen to no other.

I forget about things if they are baking.

I forget how much stuff I've already added.

I do things right and they still don't turn out.

I'm NOT meant to be in the kitchen.

Ever.

Today, out of desperation for a delicious sugar cookie that I had the other day, I attempted to make my own.

HA!

Actually, the long story of it is that I started making them last night and then my dear hubby decided to install the new dishwasher (that was delivered yesterday morning) AS I was making them. Our kitchen is small. Dough and frosting were done.... and then I couldn't even get to them. Flour was already laid out on the counter ready for cookie dough. But, I couldn't get to that either. He had the water turned off. Everything from the cupboard below the sink was taking up precious counter space. Every rag we owned had water on it and they were also covering the countertops. Then the electricity had to be shut off.

Dear God...did we really say "no" to the professional installer that could have done it for a mere $80?

Lesson learned.

The hard way.

We missed church.

We missed supper at church.

I couldn't make supper at home because...oh yeah -- needed electricity AND water to do that.

By 7:00, Nathan and I thought we were going to die from starvation - so we all headed out to eat. (Money that was spent on eating out - could have been put towards installation.)

Anyway...several hours later.... he was done. It works. And, it does look awesome.

But the kitchen didn't when I woke up this morning. You see I went to bed because I WAS THAT CRABBY. And this morning, I got the privilege of seeing the HUGE mess that was left behind from the cookies and all of the installation mess.

Ok...back to the story at hand:

This afternoon, I attempted to pry the cement, I mean dough and frosting from the refrigerated bowls.

That was fun.

I started making them with the intention that they would be done and ready when the little guy got home from school.

As I tried frosting them, they crumbled in my hands. And yes, they were cooled.

UGH!

Threw that batch out...and tried again.

Same thing.

By this time, both Scott and Nathan were home witnessing all of this...did I mention that ALL my flops ALWAYS have witnesses? Well, they do. EVERY DARN TIME!

Anyway, since I'm on a diet and the cookies didn't work. I decided to crumble them up in a bowl, throw in some frosting, pour a glass of milk, and eat my heart out.

I'm full.

They tasted a million times better than they looked.

And I ask you...Nancy M., Can I please be your understudy to learn all of your tricks of the trade?

No?

I wouldn't let me in your kitchen either!

I jinx it wherever I go. Be it my mom's, my chef of a sister's, or even my grandfather's assisted living complex.

No need for the new stove waiting to be PROFESSIONALLY hooked up on Monday...We will be eating OUT for the rest of our days.

PS NOW my kitchen looks messier than it did this morning.